It becomes a constant battle to build a healthy and balanced relationship when the parent puts their own needs and emotions before their children’s.
Rather than being a shoulder to cry on or a listening ear, the narcissistic parent could simply brush off the child’s emotions or turn defensive as soon as they are criticized. This creates a huge divide between the two, as children of narcissistic parents tend to feel invisible as they grow up, and as adults, they begin to distance themselves as a way of maintaining their own peace of mind.
As to the clinical aspect of all this, the picture is rather clear. Research from the American Psychological Association illustrates the damage a lack of empathy from parents can cause to emotional development and ultimately to relationships. When you’re not really “heard” as a child, it’s not easy to feel “safe” being close to someone as an adult.
However, when and if visits become rare or even nonexistent, there is this instinct to naturally place the blame on the child. What many parents don’t know, however, is that this only damages the relationship, or whatever is left of it, further.
Having open and non-judgmental conversation can help uncover the “why” behind the distance and even a chance to repair it.
Conclusion
In the end, the distance between parents and children is never about one single explosion of events. It’s more about a gradual build-up of things getting in the way, crossed wires, and old emotions being swept under the rug. What appears to be one person being uncaring is actually something much more complicated, like underlying assumptions or past events that never got fully discussed.
The good news is that these relationships are incredibly resilient, and things can get better between parents and children if both sides are willing to put in the effort. Even small gestures, like a text message of “thinking of you” or one single conversation, can begin to bridge the distance between parents and children and turn a bad relationship into a good one again.
